Journey

I've decided to title this entry "Journey" because I'm going to start Journaling about my Journey. My weight loss/exercise addiction/get healthy journey. I'm not sure that many people read this blog anymore, but that's okay. It's going to be more for my own personal growth. If you happen to read, I hope it helps or motivates you in some way. I've been on this journey most of my life. From about 6th grade on, I started struggling with my weight. In high school, I lost 30 lbs and stayed a decent weight till I left for college. It was all down hill from there...freshman 15 turned into 30....60... and 15 years after graduating college, I'm currently about 100 pounds overweight. Actually, It was worse...I've lost 25. So, as I keep plugging through this journey to overcome my weight, I think it will be helpful for me to write about it.

This leg of the journey started 8 months ago when my ladies group talked about walking the Indy Mini. I couldn't imagine at that time being able to do this, but I didn't want to be left out and I thought a big goal like this could possibly help keep me motivated to work out. The accountability of everyone knowing I was trying to do this didn't hurt either. So, I joined the Wellness Center and began walking. At first I couldn't walk 1 mile in 25 min without tears. I was tired, sore and out of breath. I had a lot of pain in my shins which has always been a stumbling block. So, on the advice of a friend, I decided to go to the Good Feet store in Indy to see what they could do for me. The inserts were very expensive and I was very nervous about this, but they literally worked a miracle. I was now able to walk without extreme pain and slowly I was able to increase my time and my pace. As most of you know, I walked the race in May and finished. I wasn't super fast, but I didn't get picked up by the slow bus, and that was my main goal.

I was pleased with my progress, but very disappointed in my weight loss. I had only lost about 12 lbs during all that training. Sadly, I worked hard, but I didn't eat very well so I didn't see much progress in the weight loss which was my main purpose. A few weeks before the race a contest was announced at our gym. It was a biggest Loser contest and would involve biweekly training sessions with the gym's trainer, Ryan. I thought maybe this would help. Well, I finished the 8 weeks. I didn't quit (which is nothing short of a miracle). Many people quit. This was by far the hardest thing I had ever done. Ryan pushed me to limits I didn't know were possible...but still I only lost 10 pounds. So, I'm up to 22 pounds. I had lost about 3 since the start of the school year, so I'm claiming 25 lbs lost from my heaviest weight to date at this point. Although I didn't win the contest, I won something much more valuable. I developed a sense of pride in the fact that I can work hard. I am capable of way more than I ever thought and if I'll just quit letting food rule my world, I could probably kick this weight.

During this time, I talked with Ryan several times about a new goal. I felt kind of lost now that my walk was complete. He started encouraging me to run...now if you know me at all, you're probably having a good chuckle right about now. Me? Run? No way! I hate to run! It hurts and I can only go about 20 feet before I've had enough. Well, through his workouts, he started incorporating running so I didn't really have a choice...after all, I'm not a quitter. So, I ran. At first not very long and definitly not very fast, but I ran. Ryan wants me to run a 5K (3.2mi) in October. IWU Homecoming always sponsors a 5K. I haven't committed to this 100% yet, but I've decided to start working towards it to see if I think it is possible. Today, I ran 3/4 of a mile in 11 min. I know that is not going to win me any medals, but it's my longest run without stopping to date. I do this on the treadmill at the gym so I can see the distance and time. I also walked 3 miles this morning.

My plan this summer is to really get a grip on the food, workout twice a day and try to get a big jump on this journey.

My biggest goal however, is to conquer my fear. My Mantra for this summer is NO FEAR! I had a nice long talk at the pool on Tuesday with my good friend and personal therapist, Missy. When I neared the end of my rambling, she pointed out that I had used the word scared or fear numerous times. I didn't even realize it! Scared of failing (again), scared of letting people down, scared of actually succeeding (I know that sounds crazy). Who knew? So, I came home and did some listing. Missy said I tend to skip right over what I have accomplished and focus on my failures. So, she had me make a list of all the things I had accomplished in the last year. Then I made a list of goals. The two lists looked like this:

What I have accomplished:
1. I have worked out faithfully for over 8 months.
2. I completed a 13.1 mile walk
3. I completed Ryan's torture sessions without quitting
4. I can run 10 (now 11) min. without stopping
5. I lost 25 lbs.

My goals for this summer:
1. No Fear
2. Workout 6 days a week, twice a day
3. Lose 25 more lbs.
4. Increase my running time by 2 min. each week.

So, there you have it. My daily posts won't be this long, but I needed to get the whole thing down for myself. I have a few verses that I would like to end with. These have taken on new meaning for me as I continue on my journey...

Hebrews 12:1-2
...let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus....

Phillipians 3:14
I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Phillipian 4:13
I can do all things through Christ who give me strength!