Change of Heart

I guess you could say that I've had a change of heart...hence the title. I had decided that I was done blogging after all this time. I rarely write...sometimes going months at a time without even thinking about it. It feels like the world has moved on. It was a great phase, but I felt the days of blogging were behind me. Then some events occured that caused me to have a change of heart.

The first event occured on a lazy Sunday afternoon. I had nothing to do so I spent an entire afternoon reading my past blogs. I don't know what on Earth prompted me to do it, but I literally sat for hours reading every blog from the first couple of years. I read every comment too. I found myself laughing out loud at myself! I am funny! Who knew? I also laughed at comments left by my friends and family who were faithfully following my journey. Thirty seconds later, I'd find myself in tears...remembering a sadness. Then I'd read those comments and realize how many people love me and support me in my journey. I was AMAZED at all the things that have happened in my life over the last 5 years! Valleys crossed and mountains climbed were only a memory. Those events felt so huge at the time! Hard times, sad times, but mostly totally BLESSED times! Looking back helped me remember the blessings and how God has never left my side!

The second event was the death of my Grandma in November. I found myself consumed with memories...remembering. Then at our Grate Christmas, we spent time reading a journal that Grandma had kept for a few years and cards/letters she had written to Grandpa. I was so touched and amused to hear her words. She was a hilarious, loving person! (must be where I get it) Getting a chance to see her heart meant so much to me. It gave me a more intimate picture of who she was. I want to leave that behind for...well anyone who cares to know me! I don't have children, but I have 5 nieces and nephews who might get a kick out of reading my ramblings.

The last event was a discussion on "reflecting" in Sunday school class. As we talked about the importance on reflecting on our lives especially our spiritual growth as we head into a new year, I couldn't help but think about the blog and the things I learned about myself just rereading it. The growth I've had, but wouldn't have even been aware of without that opportunity to look back at what I was facing, feeling, dealing with over the last 5 years. I knew right then that I was going to revive the blog! Mostly it's just for me...a record of my memories, my struggles, my triumphs, but I'd love it if some of you would come along with me!